Well i have to follow up to be honest. I aced the smoking porch at 9 a.m., having been primed since 6 a.m. i took no guff and walked out of there to rhe sound of church bells ringing. It was clear that i had to be there and thats why i had to miss church. I came back to my room and collapsed half off the bed with my shoes on, unti 1100 a.m, missing the 10:30 smoke bresk. I crawled u der the covers then, and it was safe and warm in there.
I woke up at 11:50 and was half asleep but had to go out for a smoke because i had already missed one. Unfortunaterly i got a little confused and left too soon, mixing up an interaction with someone i have trouble with, its okay the Lord says but im feeling a little bewildered, after all that, i have trepidation. i think there is a message in this for me about smoking, generally its a bad deal, you do yourself a disservice every time you light up a cigarette. No time is the right time for a smoke break. This a hard lesson and im not sure im ready to really take it in.
All in all im feeling a little tearful. Its time for lunch now. So far the smoking porch hasnt followed me there, i come upstairs to eat by myself in the kitchen up here, i pray the Lord will comfort me and heal the hurt.
