I resorted to calling my mother and arranging a visit during the week. I was quietly and rudely frozen out of the smoke porch at 6 and then faced my roommate, who is on Haldol, and intrusively complains. She stays up all night. Last night the light was on all night and i got no rest. I am at wits end.
God was talking to me about invisible things when she, my roommate, interrupted with her complaints, i turned around and got on my knees and turned my back to her but then i lost my focus so i explained to her that i was having a hard time myself and i would pray for her but God left. All this petty stuff is very trying but i have to accept that it is how God is present to me. Sometimes he is like a mountain on a crystal clear day, other times He is a dark, difficult passage in a poorly lit place, and this is one if those more difficult times.
Now its time for another smoke break. From one dead end to another. But i have no place else to go.
