Well I thought I had it beat. With all this that I’ve been going through, and private smoke breaks, I’ve gotten in touch with gentler times, despite the horrors and a gentler me, happier, more positive, even with all the tragedy. But im forced back into the Smoke Shack by various factors including rain, and now Big J is on it.
In my mind I heard him say “I said if I caught you in the smoke shack… ” Then, images if being beaten up in the stomach. This man is a clown with military training, but he rules. He is BIG in a way that defeats any other argument. Be must be 6’5″ and 350 pounds. Huge belly. I had wanted to smoke a second cigsrette but i had to come in. I debated for a monent befire complaining to staff once again, i feel so foolish, all this about what is going on mostly in my mind. The case manager had already said she would see what she could do about another place for me to go to smoke. But she isn’t into it today, she was queasy yesterday maybe with this stomach flu and she looked pretty sick today too.
Oh LORD.
Everywhere but the smoke shack is clearly marked NO SMOKING, and they called me on it yesterday, even though one if the casemanagers had said it was okay to smoke in those places any way. My case manager knows I will freak out if I can’t get a safe smoke break.
O LORD!
