Happy, desultory meanderings

I couldnt be happier.  My son is working a respectable job, nothing fancy but it delights my heart.  He didnt say and I didn’t want to pressure him but my mother told me.  On the side he’s doing some computer work for my ex which keeps his mind busy.  Its been a funny day, i fell into praying tbe Rosary, which i hadnt been doing lately, and then fell into an embarassing moment in the smoking porch not like any other, dancing with a man in a wheelchair– didn’t know there was a staffer with him and only then realized how very mentally challenged he was.  We always exchange a greeting.  I realized after goibg up to my room and laying stricken in my bed how much pain I had been in in those days when i thought about being in a wheelchair, as i was saying to him, and it was sexual pain coursing like a river of agony.   I didn’t need to be ashamed.  But i was still afraid I would be shamed.  Nothing has come of it yet.  I havent gone back out there yet to smoke again, and he doesn’t usually go out there.  It was pouring out.

So i prayed against Satan again and again today, now, after praying tbe Rosary i have a certain bittersweet feeling and i don’t know whether it is Truth or not, my new therapist was taking me down other pathways.   She emphasizes “TRUTH”.  I love her and I trust her, and this day is telling me to trust, so should I trust Catholicism too? Even the chunk of time I posted about I  my last post, “Sister,” has a critica l issue of Catholicism where i enrolled my son in a private Catholic school after he got kicked out if another very good private school but he was not accepted by the Catholic kids, it was horrible.

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