Old Business

At 600 private smoke break my son showed up to protect and defend me from intruding voices from the smoke porch 50 feet away.  When the male resident B. at the heart of the problem, showed up, we left the fire escape stairway I was sitting on to do what i had meant to do  all day, which was to make a formal complaint against staff as well as patients contributing to attention-seeking behaviour by resident B., involving deliberately making “friendly” gesture towards me and then immediately seeking attention from anyone nearby when he is rebuffed.   This has been going on since before Christmas.  It belongs with last year. I was in a very dark place at that time.  I put the embarrassing and humiliating moments that caused me to coldly and completely terminate the relationship, behind me, this morning, and a staffer who was involved LAST YEAR came into the art therapy room at the end of morning group and brought it up, referring to “dirt”  (me, as far as i could tell) and then saying “where’s B–?” (I had finally put the run on him).  And when B. came back into the room he said “B– is the man” and then went on his way.  B. is a mentally challenged adult and ordinarily I would try to be kind but this situation has gone way beyond awkward. He has his hands on me in some way.   I continued working in my Mondala  (sp?) coloring book with colored pencils, without flinching, and waited patiently, on returning to the residence, to speak to my caseworker, who was in a lengthy meeting.  All this upstaged the situation with my mother and i made the phone call to her while still waiting to talk to T. the caseworker.  So I finally got back with her–T.– tonight, and my son was still with me in a way i cant explain.  Everything came together.  I am in her hands.  I will be moving from here.  My mother can’t afford to pay beyond the end of March.  It has been a troubled time here but i mean to leave on good terms.

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