Torn

I was torn in the van ride over to partial hospital program this morning.  The driver was using the spoken GPS guidance to get here.  I exclaimed, “wow!” And thought of when I held the bright blue cell phone all lit up in lights that i had in Florida thinking, this is the culmination of my father’s work.  I didnt say anything to tbe driver.  I was torn between this image of my father as an early hi-tech hero whose important work i had to suffer for, and the other one I know that perpetrated serious malfeasance against me, singled out among my siblings for unnecessary punishment.  My father didnt know who he was: just a bright kid from poverty,

No big J.  in my dreams last night, thank God.  He called me a slut outside the med window first thing in the morning and i reported him.  I hope that that is the last if his harassment.

As for my father, he and my mother visited yesterday, and i got deep into kaka with them and FEARED.  I thought i would be safe after posting my “long post;” and then i realized i WAS.  The Lord only needed my GRATITUDE, in the form if a rosary, which he led me to, to prove it through, and then I trusted.

Just happy to see the LORD at work today.

 

 

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