Cutting in line

The did it to me at breakfast this morning and tbey did it to me st 1030 smoke break.  A white man let a black man and a black wonan cut in front of me.  See “Mending Fences…”  im dealing with this and the working out the sexual abuse with ny father at the same time.

I just talked to my father and we will NOT be getting together today.  I can live without the cup of coffee.  He called back three times and i didn’t answer.  Thats one up for invisible weapons against atheist strongholds.  He has hurt me so badly over the years that it is in a srnse painful i am also rejoicing.  What a relief.  His ship has been boarded.  Praying HARD to St. Gabriel to shine a light to them through this hardship of having a daughter whi is very, very angry with them in their ancient years and its been going on for 39 years and they have suppressed it, which was way more harmful than the initial injury.  And at church today, speaking if injuries, the Lord let me to lift up the female injury from the catheter in the ICU.  I don’t know what it means yet, but i am hoping to speak to the priest this week about baptism.  For a bad moment i was trapped in the fear that my time at the state hospital and all the attendant pain  was my fathers “punishment” for my going to Hutton,  The Lord rescued me.

So staff stood up for me on the smoking porch, i got my cigarette in turn and the med tech who helped me yesterday was there.  It wasnt exactly pleasant but it prepared me to talk to my father.

Im developing a lot of people coping skills here.  Im not sure whether tbey will be useful anywhere else though.

Well i made it to church.  That is a good thing to focus on going forward through my day.

Thank you God, always and everywhere but especially today.  I am reminded to be meek, patent, humble and kind; but not fearful or timid:  that’s out the window.  Amen.

So theyre still playing games on the smoking porch.  Now i dont know what else to be but angry.  This time i walked away with my second cigarette.  Everybody does that.  I dont see why i should be any different. I was first in line and my pack was on top. Maybe they put it there deliberately..

Oh i get it.  I was thinking God had done that.  I am humbled.

So i called them and said i would go out for coffee.  Unfortunately they are trying to play their game if oneupsmanship. ” i think we can come, ill call you”  Thats the whole problem all along, hes trying to stand on his rights he doesn’t have sny. These too don’t know how to take s hint.  Theyre dead out of the water, no rights whatsoever.   Im not going to post the relevant email here, but hes defeated hands down in a despucable moment in which he has no hope but for forgiveness.   i already gave to my mother that i would listen to her again, which i havent for decades.

Evidently they want to come here snd play a gasme, that is their habit.

Called them back and tveyre coming.  With the Love of God, its cool.

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