Another day at home over vulnerability from the sexual abuse issue being brought up. Too many thoughts of THEM intruding insidiously. Turns out i have a mammogram at 10 so i didnt have to go anyway. Its a whitewash for me as staff isnt too positive about ny going over this old stuff. But honestly in these 39 years it has ever come to light, they have always soft-shoed away from it.
I am hoping for vondication in this ad well as ib the matter of the PHYSICAL BASIS of my disability, ironically TWO old sexual injuries, the being kneed in the crotch when i was a child and the pain from the catheter in the ICU when i was 24. Nothing shows up on an ultrasound but a gynecoligist found that my whohe vagina was spasming and earlier i had gross physical spasming from rhe curvature in my spibe and the compression in my neck, of which there is a medical record (an xray): over time the spasming spread to affect my whole body: a pcp in California said i was “anxiety reactive:” my “OCD” over the spasming and seizing spread progressively over different parts of my body and different parts of the apartment we were living in like a virulent infection.
Time for a smoke break. Ill come back to this.