…was afforded within minutes if posting that last post. In the form of insight unravelling the tangled web.
I remembered that i had just had my memory refreshed that Bruce was ex military. And i remembered the moment early on in our relationship when a woman who is no longer here verbally assaulted him on the smoking porch, making a remark about his “little dick” She was ex military too, so she could. I got caught in tbe middlle of them, and sort of tried to stand up for him, but later realized he had a problem. And then someone else stood up for him to me when i was getting carried away with getting upset by him. She gave the wrong information, it turned out.
The long and the short of it is rhat it was not my probken that he got called out like that early on on the smoking porch. There was nothing i needed to do about it, now or then. It was not my problem. I was embarrassed, that was all. Ive been holding onto this. I was hurt by her too. But i settled it with her.
Letting go of this
15 minutes later
As for the racial incident, j was so bunged up with tbis problem with Bruce, the sexuality of it, that i forgot my manners all over the place. My sexuality issues are severe, intense, and EMBARASSING, and he was INFURIATING me by bringing them out. Just now down on the smoking porch i didn’t notice that i had sat down a little ways from Mr. C, and immediately stood up as a sign of respect (under the circumstances.) He was the one who was allowed to cut in line. I am hoping and expecting that tbis matter will be settled. Lord,have mercy. Christ, have mercy. Lord, have mercy.