I am a little confused, the Lord showed me i was in error over not letting Black Mr. E let Black Mr. C in front if him in line, thereby letting him in front of me. This happened last week and is still playing out. I was tired, and interpreted it as a racial play against a white woman. I saw that sort of thing go down in Florida all the time and i was triggered. I have felt so much hostility here from so many different residents and i was at the end of my rope that night. I couldn’t take anothet hit. So i acted, and cut in front of the one who had let him cut in. It was an “oh so you thought i liked you, well here is where its at” from a quiet man who never shows his cards or even lets you know he has any. Well thats fine but you cant take my place in line.
So why did God say i was in the wrong, Hes telling me even as im typing, for your protection. So i apoligized, yes my trusted voice is saying, you should have. Secretly though. I know i need to forgive THEM, and the really sad fact, im realizing as i write, is that they don’t even know it.
The same goes for Bruce who i mentioned in my post for continuing male harm of me. I just have to forgive him and figure out how to let it go even when hes still doing it. He has no understanding. I believe he has a very low IQ.
I came here to post thinking of old Black White issues from Florida. There’s a feeling in my mind of their dissolution. I crashed and burned and rose from the ashes. Its hard to forget the violence, bitterness, and hatred, its written indelibly in my mind, but its a memory now and im no longer to the wall on it. Now its a question of setting limits on the FOLLY of Black men and women with a racial agenda HERE, and elsewhere i may go–and the white people who help tbem– who in their ignorance cone to me with demands against my person which are ignorant based on where ive been and what ive seen and what ive known and what ive SUFFERED.
Ive been too many places, thats all, im an older woman and ive watched a lot if things go down in my life that noone here has a clue about and the basics like a persons place in line need to be respected to keep order. No, it wasnt ok to make a tired white woman wait in line, thete is a conflict here that is not resolved…
NOTE
People to forgive:
Big J., miss M, miss K, miss D, Mr. E, Mr. C, Bruce, staffmember Chris.
