They dont believe my problem with him is real.
The fact is he is doing an actual malfeasance and i am powerless to stop him because my signal is defeated through ny ex husbands never-corrected sexual malfeassnce. Because he is so immature Bruce doesn’t understand that what he is doing is wrong.
My ex used to brush his right elbow, (as i remember) against my left breast (nipple), causing an unwanted, unpleasant arousal because of ny bad nerves due to the doublebarrelled crotch injury i have talked about so often. Always, stimulatuon of ny nipples gave me a nauseous feeling. The unpleasant arousal wouldnt dissipate until i achieved orgasm insifsr as i was able, through unpleasant, unwanted sex in which i proactively, in a trance like state, did everything and said everything that he wanted me to..
Later it turned into a different pattern. I was becane so eroticized over this behaviour that i only needed to be told to get dressed up (in garters and heels, and the like) and then he would make me crane my head up to his ear and whisper long, involved pornographic fantasies. I hated it. Every part of my mind and body hated it. I said “please don’t make me talk,” but then he startef. “Tell me what you would be wearing…” and i was eroticized by the pain, the norbid fantasies, the humiliation.
So my signals became deeply distorted. There was a vast overflow of this sexuality and i was constantly masturbating to get relief. By tbe time we got to Florida, i couldnt look at a man without the fear of being taken in by his eyes. And then the distorted sexuality took hold and i started having fd up secual inagety such as pokong ny finger up people’s asses in the supermarket line-‘ that was the one that got around. I was afraud to be anywhere. Ive been dealing with this harsh resslity ever since. I forget somtimes, but its always lurking.
Well Mr. Bruce engaged me on a sexual level without realizing that that was what he was doing, he acknowedged the whore, essrntislly sayibg thats okay where i was saying, no its not okay, mind your own business, and i wasnt able to get that across without engaging him further; and here i am 2 1/2 months later following the trail of gingerbread crumbs trying to get back to safety.