Rocky Road

What a relief to have my blog to come back to!  Its a small thing but its been a constant in my life for 8 years now.   And what a long, strange trip its been.

I am fighting off feelings of despair today, feelibgs i havent had since high school.  For a moment i thought id been “gotten” but i found myself rehaping around a new norm and springing back.  Maybe “spring” is the operative word.  Its just around the corner– the season, of course.  I had feelings that everybody was taking my fathers side.  I let my sister in at one point earlier today and i was too weak to beat bsck her offensive.  And then i realized  it doesn’t matter.  I know what he did.  If people want to be assholes about it doesnt change what happened  i chose my course and it was shaped largely by his bring a super big asshole about what happened.  I dont have to lie to protect him.  He does a perfectly good job of that himself.  I dont know whether thats what was up with the doctor at the hospital or not, but its a good bet it is.  I was discharged too early, snd now im still really sick 3 days later.  Its been a really hard 3 days.  The bad part is that now i have to go live with them.  Thats a tough one.

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