Now its just a question of waiting out the seven days until my discharge. No small task: thats 21 meals and 49 smoke breaks. Just had trouble with a smoke break after sleeping through one: its my acute sense of hearing. People think i am deep in thought when actually i am tuned in to tbe slightest sound and then they dont understand when they say something about me when they think i am out of earshot as i move away. This just happened with a young girl i have frequently had trouble with and i was so angry and upset that i challenged her in the lunch line immediately afterward: she was serving. She fell all over herself saying she wasnt talking about me, “it was about something that happened last summer,” she said. I can only trust and let it go.
This distorted reality i live in can be very unsettling both for me and for others. I just got meds from miss N. whom i confronted a few weeks ago because i thought she was teasing me on the smoking porch. She absolutely denied it at that time and said she was so upset that she wrote me up for it. There was a look of understsnding in her eye just now, she took a phone call while she gave me my one 200 pill so i couldnt ask.
Walking on eggsbells.