Fire under my butt

My mother fell on the 3 step stone stairway up to the atrium last night.  She was coming to the cottage, where i was, to turn off the oil burning stove for the springtime.

I helped her of course.  But it triggered nasty memories that left me in an unpleasant frame of mind.  She was worried that she would  have a bruise on the side of her face.  Fortunately it was only a slight one as if this morning.  She said she didn’t want my father to know.  I went in to see if she was okay around 1000.

It triggered memories from when i was 24 and lost control with her and hurt her badly after the overdose when i was damaged by the catheter snd nobody knew,  i had a convulsant episode and she got in the way.  They called it an assault.  All these years they’ve held it against me and used it to keep me out of the family and sweep things under the rug.  Its a crying shame.  They called it an assdault and the stupid psychiatrist bought it and turned me over to the witch doctor psychiatrist and after that i never saw the light of day.

So today the LORD is clearing me of it.  The question is wbether my family will be a part of it or not–my birth family that is.  My husband and son will be.  But i dint know whether i will be continuing to stay here at my mother and father’s home.  They have been giving me a bad time.  The physical therapist i saw on Thursday urged me to find a diffetent living situation.  She wont undertake serious therapy with me until i do.  Shes a Christian and also urged me to find a faith family

So anyway that puts a fire under my butt.



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