Its Thursday, ive been awzy since Sunday.  Since that time, an embarrassment if RICHES.  1)  i got medicaid, so i can get dental work and the probkem if the civerage gao fir nedicatiob us solved.  2)  my mother plunked down the 2200$$ for a bankrupcty lawyer–i can handle the rest; God bless her eternally for this.  She made me wait for a year and a half through a suicide attempt, 2 hospitals and 4 months at a boarding home but she finally fid it.  Out if the fire, back into the more comfortable frying pan.  3)  my rep payee, who controls my money, has agreed to pay for the retech for my book, “California, a ProLife Novel.”  Once they figure out how to process rhe financial transaction the book will be on its way.  4)  i see a priest TOMORROW about BAPTISM.  Its rhe biggest moment ofmy life (other than childbirth.)  I pray he cabt sa y no.  I like the church building and i liked meeting him afterward as i said in my post, “Catholic Church.”  5)  i saw my son on Tuesday and we had an awesome time, he is clean for the first time since grade school, i found out.  We finally talked.  (I finally listened.)  He is doing WELL.

So i had si much GOOD WORK to do yesterday (filing two years income tax, mailing thankyou cards to the hospitals i stayed in, coping with my mother), that i got stressed and overwhelmed .  Ive had the usual problem  this time Satan mounted a huge attack surrounding our seeung the bankruptcy lawyer because it was so desperately important.  My brain was fried from all the psychological stress.  I finally realuzed the problem yestetday, Wednesday, morning , after suffering in desperation since Monday afternoon.

Im still suffering from the backlog.  I git a clue today that its important to KEEP THE FAITH.  Im fighting with my mother and father, and it gets really bad and bleak.  Theres noone here to hold into.  I have to pray to St Francis. Patron saint of animals, for help with my sons cats, who were traumatized by staying alone here in tbe cottage since he left a year ago, they got fed but they were mosty left alone.  They get frantic and they want atterntion when im busy with something desperate, its a problem that is teaching me sensitivity and patience greater thsn what i had so i dont mind at all but it tests me at times.

Right now im feeling a little lost, i hoped that posting would reorient me but NO.  Im back to i wS when i started.   “You will be guided” s voice in my thougjts szud to me.  And my son was thrilled to be my son.  Well i guess thats not a bad place to be.


Oh yes and i have a new psychotherapist, relatively new, who i saw today as an outpatient for the second time, she is a”Bible Christian,” and i have a new physicsl therapist, who is aldi an outspoken Christian, who i saw on Tuesday fir the second time, who has given me relaxation stretches to di and advused me to find a difgerent place to live.

So i guess my brain is about to crack from overload.

Its all good.

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