Well i really blew it. I mean, i did the right thing in tbe end, God showed me this morning what to do and i did it but that doesn’t always make the path easier. My mother has been on a rampage since getting a visitor to heed her tears last week, she literally made a splash and all it is is masturbation, she’s too frigging stupid to understand. She wants to WIN but thats was what this fight cones diwn to, she wants to impose masturbatory will and be right and no one gets it, its been playing like an unsatisfied viola in an eerie symphony all my life, she TOUCHES and it hurts and that upsets her and people feel sorry for HER, she sidles up and presses her body against you, i called on that years ago.
So shes stuck in this place where someone noticed her tears, meanwhile ny reunion tanked, the pressure was too intense and GOD called it off this morning. I couldnt even make it to church i was so psyched out with stress.
Calli g off tbe reunion was a mess. Veruzon has been manipulating my email, i swear its true. They delayed sending my cancellation email, anyway there was a mixup and i have been walking a tight rope with reunion staffers who were providing me with financial addustance and i think i crossed tbe line today but theres nothing i can do except keep moving through the moments and praying to God. Its about pride righr niw and a lot of things are coming out in tbe wash.
Tomorrow is another day.
