My father was leaning over this way trying to grab ahold of me to hold against my mother and i refused him.  Thats how it played out all these years.

Im back at tbe dump looking to pick out a different life.

I still remember that day in small town New Jersey south of Manhattan.  Actually i think we went back several times.  I was going thtougb the personal effects of a woman who we presumed had died.  Tbere was a medal of Verdun, a famous  battle in World War I.  And some other tjings that delighted me:  pencil leads in two different sizes in balsa wood tubes, i dont remember the rest.

It would have been at around the same time that I read A Little Princess by the author if The Secret Garden.  My mother was looking for the latter book but they didnt have it, which sent my life spiralling.  When i got to high school i read Pride ad Prejudice which was to me another story about a mean morher and a nice fsther.  Not that my father was all that nice but it was a comforting fantasy.

Theyve been playing  me off each other for this fantasy their whole lives long.  And noone ever helped me.


This is treachery.  This is malfeasance against a child.

Thank you, o  Blessed Mary of rhe Miraculous Medal for leading me to the truth, i was kept in a lie all my life.  Overnight my eyes have been opened to a beautiful reality.   In place of mockery snd sarcsam about me i have the beautiful truth about you.


“O clement, O loving, O sweet Virgin Mary!”


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