See my last post: awaiting execution

“[As i look back over my life…] I was just another part of the dance.

Its all i ever wanted. ”

With that i could wind up my blogging career or change the subject.  When i was a young girl in high school nobody wanted to dance with me..

I remember the song “Dance With Me” playing in rhe pizza parlor in town, i was sitting wirh a group of girls.  The song caused me such longing

After a while i went alone to dances at the boys school and the boys ignored me.  Now i understand that i ddnt wash.  I also couldnt dance.

In Florida i had a psychotherapist who danced with me in a wheelchair in my mind.  Over the years there were compensations.  I would like to be able to say that my ex husband was rhe greatest and it is true that he was; but we are working out some problems in the relationship.  We are talking; but not much.

 

So yes.  Its all come out in the wash.

All my life i thought, people say im pretty and i know im snart, whats so bad about me that i feel so bad and dont have any friends?

And then i knew in words what the problem was ( the sexual injurues and all the attending problems), but i didn’t connect in my heart.  Ive connected with my therapist on sexual abuse.  Finally.  It took 35 years.

I believe its smoorh sailing from here.

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