Patience

I am waiting on sonething very important.

In the meantime the Lord gave me something wonderful to do.  (Oh and yes, i hereby reclaim that word “wonderful” to be redeemed from what the Governor of New York made of it back in tbe 2000s.  (Was it the Governor who went to jail on vice charges?)

Today i found myself repenting of over-reading in my childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood until i was 29.  After that i droppef it suddenly and completely.  I married an action-oriented husband.  No more 10 cups of coffee a day and lounging in diners with my MH friends.

Today i am lookig at little me when i was in 3rd grade and first picked up a book–from a tale outside the doors of rhe classroom at the end of the dsy.

How i loved it!  I dont remember the book but i rermember the feeling.  I went back for another and then i was a regular st the school library snd eventually at the town library about a miles walk from my family’s home.

I wasnt made for navigating the real word with all its hazards.  Of course i have talked about my damaged female are and how it stymied my motivation snd motility.  It was a subtle but salient problem with day to day life

Reading saved me.  Unfortunately it also saved my mother in a baaad way.  I learned to lose myself in a book.  My whole existence for weeks at a time was the engagement of my eyes with black and white lettered pages, i was completely oblivious to the world around me.  My mother used this to make me “go away” on cue later in life, and to deny facts about my existence to my face.  It was frightening and uosetting.  I knew she was doing it but i couldnt stop it.  Sbe just did about 1/2 an hour ago.  Im 56 and im back living with her again.  I am working on MISSION IMPOSSIBLE power.  ROGUE NATION.  Its a watershed movie for daughters of British parliamentary rule in America.

So were in a fight.  Locked  in combat.  Shes taking a nap and im here posting.  When the posting is intense i get a back ache.

So yes im repenting of the reading and right away the real life conflict us coming out where i can see it.  And that’s just my DISTRACTION!   Im working on sometbing else EVEN BIGGER!

Youll find out tomorrow or maybe Friday.

Hallelujah!

Wonderful!

Amen.

Have i mentioned that im still waiti g o  my car?  Ive been grouded since Monday night, they got tbe wrong part.  So ive been ckeaning and organizing.

Oh, yes and i forgot to mention tbat movies took over when i was in my twenties, alrhough i was still reading as well.

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