I am in for prayers and support at catholic.com on this very special night. when the very best is coupling with the very worst in my life as various threads come together to create a major life moment.
I will soon be baptised and confirmed. I will be able to take the Eucharist and I will be able to call myself a Catholic Christian.
An astonishing revelation just occurred to me in the sequence of events that will be playing out tonight and tomorrow morning. My mother is ticked off at me and will be trying to get back at me for something I did this afternoon on my son’s behalf.
I realized that she always has a hard time holding her own against me and traced it back to when she had the ectopic pregancy and it was my birthday, and I had never put two and two together before, I always thought she made some kind of bizarre connection between me and the ectopic child and her almost dying, and I realized, if the ectopic pregnancy occured on my birthday then my birthday was also the anniversary of her ectopic pregnancy!
I am always running on about the horrible abortion anniversaries, one of them occurring on the day before my wedding anniversaty. so I know how deep this can run. It just never occurred to me before. So no wonder my life was always in a pall after that. She had my little sister; and put me in the past. It is sad, horrible, and true, and something needs to be done about it. My mother doesn’t have to be a mother of me, but she can’t stop me from getting my needs met elsewhere.