Not safe

My brother has committed suicide.  He flung hinself off a cliff in an exotic location.  I am too sad to be angry.  He leaves behind his 18 year old son.

And all the rest if us.  It is a watershed event.  We heard the tragic news Thanksgiving morning.  He had been missibg for a week.  We were all gathered here for the holiday, not knowing what to expect.  We ate turkey.  We played Monopoly.  My nephew went back to hus mothers family.  My sister and her husband went west.  My son went hone to Philly.

In the aftetmath i am dancing around being scapegoated and trying to get funded in an apartment of my own.  It has not been going well here.  This doesn’t change things.  My mother always works everything to the negative fimor me and everyone follows her.  I jyst trapped them doing it and have exited the kitchen to my lonely abode in the  cottage, where i have the cherished company of 2 cats.

Tomorrow i see my psychotherapist.  It is not safe fir ne here.


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