After 40 years, Hope

At “Hutton” University, not its real name–perhaps you can guess the real name –i became a Pharisee.  It took time.  But after the state hospital–i clearly remember the moment–i heard the words describing the requirements of a SUPREME COURT JUSTICE–that they must take care not only of the fact if propriety but also of every appearance.  I had been “President” of the Hutton Dove”–its famous undergraduate literary magazine. It was a disaster.  At the end of it i was like George Bush in the White House at the end of 2008–confiding to random reporters and holed up in the inner space of the hite Hoyse watching sports on the big screen.  Suddenly i no longer want to compare myself to Presidents.  In PA in 1986 i was decimted by an ICU and 3 months in a state mental institution.  And there i put that awful  requirement on myself and a carried it like a gigantic albatross.  Anyway its 32 years after that and the initual hurt at 17 that was a family matter.  Ive been in trouble ever since.

Today i finally shook off that foolish and crippling attention to every detail of appearance and came out without worrying about every customary attention to the essentials since i was only going to 2 drive thru windows.  Now im outside the Dunkin Donuts typing this and waiting for someone to call the cops on me.  lol!  Happened to me all the time when i was in Florida.

All of a sudden i have gone from Pharisee to believer and my life is a whole new game.

Hallelujah!  Amen.

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