The catholic church isnt nice. Not now, especially not in Pennsylvania. i have a dispute with my RCIA counselor. There was some innocuous impropriety. She had the humility to ask me to pray for her. But she cleverly let it be suggested that “no one would believe [me]” if I said anything about the minor impropriety. She could have just let it go and I would have too.
So I got baptised and there was a problem. I finally cleared it up with the help of my Christian psychotherapist. She showed me how Satan had taken advantage of me on the way to the private ceremony with Sister M and the priest. I had remembered on the way to the church hearing my guiding voice say clearly, “no,” about going to the baptism, which so took me by surpise that I just kept getting ready and got in the car and went; but not until after falling into some inexplicable (!ha! I wasn’t thinking) trouble choosing what to wear. Then it came back to me on the way so I decided to pull into Burker KIng to stop and think about what to do and that’s the trouble. I waited for my food for 15 mintues. There was total mayhem in there. Then I wound getting the wrong sandwich and the coffee was sour! Well I moved through that not knowing what to do. I remembered later hearing that “God always gives you an out..” Which he did. I had clearly been told “No,” But God gave me a weak little voice saying “Do,” enough to get me to the church and to help me to move through the ceremony with the full force of baptism (?) This is what worries me. I was able to feel how powerful this ceremony is, it is no joke, it’s as important as a wedding, or being born or dying. You don’t mess around with it. And I’ve been in the vortex of a half-cocked baptism for a week and a half. Its been crazy.
So my therapist showed me that that was Satan working through the mayhem at Burger King, which has completely cleared the problem for me except that Sister M doesn’t want to let it be okay. She is trying to use the incident to clear the decks of her “innocuous impropriety,” leaving ME with a bad name! She took advantage of a bad moment I was having at our last meeting to “suggest” that I go to a different church in a different parish.
Not sure what to do. I brought this up with the Christian psychotherapist but we didn’t resolve it. I will be seeing her (the psychotherapist) again prior to my next private meeting with Sister M. but I will see Sister M. in church on Sunday.