First, my husband said, you better watch out; there are other women who are getting inerested in me. He was pulling down a nice weekly paycheck as a software consultant; he got started by taking a years leave of absence from a major industry vendor, claiming he needed to take care of me. I was very ill. I was infatuated with my psychotherapist, and this was a major problem. He said, “lets see other people .”
So he worked on contract out of town all year. When he returned to the corporation at the end of the year he was fired because he had lied. So he went on as a solo consultant, and does well to this day.
Our relationship is not so bright a picture. In the end he talked me into committing, or rather, attempting to commit, suicide. When I returned from the psych ward with brain damage, he came to my room after a trip out of town, with coconut oil and started oiling my back and telling me that he was going to golddiggers.com and several other gimmick dating sites to pick up women who would have the sex with him that he wanted. I think we had stopped having sex. I had a sexual handicap and had always overcompensated to make up for it and I was getting older and it wasn’t good any more
There are so many ins and outs to this, and hurt on both sides. And then our son got a horrible eye injury in a mixed up situation that should never have happened.
My ex wanted OUT of the siuation; though he cried when I finally asked him, “do you want a divorce?” I had already filed, but I would have dropped it if he asked. I just needed time apart and although I have heard of filing for separate maintenance income, evidentally that doesnt exist in the state of Florida; only divorce.
So for years i have been trying to forge a path together again. My health has improved; I’ve lost the weight and all but quit smoking. But Florida is like the Wild West. Theres no doing the right thing there. And its where he wants to be. So it comes down to the money.
He built his career around my educational and social status and credit rating. Also around my illness. The situation with the leave of absence when we first moved to Florida was typical. I’m still mortgaged to his career.
He paid alimony for 4 years and then quit because I was in tbe hospital for a year and a half: another suicide attempt, unfortunately. So now I am well, better than I have ever been, and the new med is WORKING!
So, I have my book that i am still working on, and these days i have my faith and a home for it in the local diocese of the Catholic Church. It so sad to just move on.
Dont know what to do.