Well, since I wrote that a week ago I have been through an abysmal time. Hangover from the holidays + life catching up with me from long ago.
Its a good thing. Solving some huge problems; and my mind is telling me that things will be easier from now on.
My son in my mind is telling me DON’T try to fix that bad time and place in Germantown, MD in the 90s; I hated you; its okay; i love you now; i understand. And you MAY talk about your experience (he is telling me) of race relations; that kept me alive. (I remember when the little black boy from a few townhones down the way came to the door; he was 4 and my son was 3. My son went out on the doorstep and they both clencheded their fists at their sides and yelled. They were best friends after that and the boy’s mother helped me with childcare.)
So i will tread very carefully in those waters.
In my book. Not here.