I had a lovely, childlike romance with Dr. Boutin that was forged out of my insecurity and pain.
I didnt even want that. It was all very confusing.
The moment I first saw him it was like I saw a ghost: slim, elegant, good-looking, well-dressed male psychotherapist I was reeling from the blow of a similarly styled therapist that had landed me in a restraining order. Against ME.
Dr. Boutin tried to turn me away at first and it wasnt going well. I couldnt get used to the 1/2 hour session, and, my father interfered; and that practice was where my son had been seen several years before; I didnt want to be treading on his toes. And, I had an improper referral. My PCP mentioned the name of the psychiatrist there, among others, but it wasnt really a referral. I was running short of doctors. In the six years that I was a client there, I never resolved this uncertainty. And, I just dont know how 6 years passed that way; but they did.
I look back now and see that I got some really good help there. A really steady, calm, sane, reassuring presence in my life.
We DID NOT have an affair. I was just a client.
When I moved into an apartment it was a $25 dollar a night place in 4th street N for about 2 weeks until I got into a unit at our old place, Lincoln Shores, in the same area. Right after the tasering I moved into a place near Clearwater Catholic, off Route 19, but they forced me out.
This period is confused in my mind because of the brain damage from the suicide attempt and the stressful of coping after that; and also the tasering and the concussion and being mistreated for it.
I was extremely paranoid, not showering despite Dr. Boutins insistence (which is finally proving through today with the help of Brad at Sacred Heart EAC Unit in Allentown.) Also I was suffering from horrible constipation which finally resolved in December of 2018.
And, I was a having a problem where sexuality brought on the most HORRIBLE PAIN in the perineum, the vaginal wall. It was JUST SO AWFUL. I just couldnt even lay in bed with ex husband Alex. I still was sleeping with him sometimes. But it was JUST AWFUL
So, i was not having SEX with Dr. Boutin. We had a light romance, in my mind, that was how I saw it. Psychiatrist Feldman pointed out that that was normal of a woman of my age in therapy. As I saId, even the thought of it terrified me because of the trouble I had been in before with Mr. James Zydek in Tampa; in neither case was there ANY PHYSICAL CONTACT WHATSOEVER.
So sorry for any harm to anybody through the misperception based on my sorry untold story (now being told.)