I’ve been picking up puzzle pieces, connecting the dots, dotting the i’s and crossing the t’s, resolving the disconnects; for a COMEBACK.
This has been DECADES in the making.
The disconnect I picked up on today that has everything falling into place is the urology appointment in Florida that got canceled because of a hurricane. The tech had observed something really abnormal about how much urine I was retaining, but something that didnt fit any of the routine questions. Then, I called the day of a hurricane reporting that my urine was cold and stale smelling. I didnt remember what happened. I never went back to follow up.
I had seen a urologist here in Reading in the mid 80s before meeting my ex, I was having trouble with urinary Incontinence AND at other times retention. He said it was probably the Tegretol I was taking.
So, I gave up on this issue–about being hurt in the ICU in Reading in 1986 after an overdose by a catheter; after this incident in Florida years later.
I picked it back up when I returned here in 2012 and received confirmation of my condition and expert advice. But I have not gotten to a place where I was was able to coordinate that with the lifelong psych care for a better undetstanding of my condition.
I was seen in a NEUROPSYCHIATRIST practice here in Allentown who was willing to take my case and I was so grateful for that. Theybdud haveballbthese issues. But, something happened, my hold on life was so fragile from a tiny overdose back in 2014 (?) that had had the most obscenely tragic consequences!!!
In 2016, when I was seen in the Neouropsychiatry practice. i was still frequently visiting suicidal thoughts and feelings and having to live through it and then dismiss them. It was about the lower GI problem, which was so severe. That was finally reasonably resolved in December of 2018; and, the cigarette smoking was also brought under control.
So, I made another suicide attempt in November 2016, the day after Thanksgiving the night I moved into the trailer my mother had rented for me.for
All I can do is apologize and express my praise and thanksgiving for this community that has tolerated me as I struggled back to life for FOUR YEARS since then.