behar


Ian,

He’s the doctor in Quakertown who gave me a run for my money since late 2017.
I remember the first time I saw him. He is a hunch back with a slightly distorted face. He has a huge
belly and wears wide suspenders to hold up his pants. He is not tall. The moment I sat down in the
chair in this office and saw him I felt an incredible sense of relief. And delight!
That played out in so many ways over the several years until I stopped seeing him around Autumn of
last year. One thing I realized over time was that everything that Deborah the therapist in his practice
did, passed through him.
So, in the end it was about the abortions, the shove in my guts BY YOU IN SEMINOLE (I know that you
say you don’t remember but it did happen); and the TASERING in 2011(?).
Which still holds me. I’m dead there. A fish out of water.
But I have something to explain there.
That shove in the guts was HEALING of the TERRIBLE SPIRITUAL AS WELL AS PHYSICAL PAIN of the
abortions that was keeping me with the dead. That is not a typo.
Then the tasering just shut me down completely. I went dead in my head. For a very long time I
continued to experienced shock waves of spasms from head to toe, for instance while I was laying on
the couch in the apartment in Easton.
In the last few days, I AM COMPLETELY CLEARED of the PAIN IN MY BELLY that has persisted since the
abortion here in 1990.
This is an unbelievable MIRACLE. I credit the Clonidine with some of this and will be taking another
look at it with a different doctor.
AND ALSO the unbelievably painful shooting pains, in my body and brain, of the OCD and the
impulsivity and vulnerability that it tries to cover.
As I have said, I am becoming a gentler and more delicate person again. I have to remind myself at
times to do this.
So, I had this image where I saw Dr. Behar laying down next to me and annexing my big belly to his
and absorbing all that pain!!!
5/7/2021 Mail – Lynne Murphy – Outlook
https://outlook.live.com/mail/0/sentitems/id/AQMkADAwATM0MDAAMS1jMTU3LTA0ZTktMDACLTAwCgBGAAADmb8%2BunCV0E2HpvNIX1uPxwcA… 2/3
And, after that it came to this horrible place yesterday where I found out that the cats have been
suffering with FILTHY KITTY LITTER for a REALLY LONG TIME and I didnt recognize that this was the
problem.
And I didn’t know what on earth the solution should be.
***oh Ian, this just in. Its terrible. I see the whole situation. Its about losing my sense of smell.
Granddad too. He also lost his sense of smell back in the 80s. Remember how I used to say in
Seminole people didn’t like me and I didn’t know why? That’s what it was, it was the no sense of
smell. It makes a person odd. There were a million possible reasons but those are just a persons
parameters. It was the not having a sense of smell that made people want to back off. Let me correct
that. It was a PARTIAL loss if sense of smell from sinus problems from smoking in the garage here in
80’s. My father’s as I understand it was almost complete.
He lost his sense of smell after a sinus operation. Its just too weird. He also suffers from mental OCD
just like me and suffers a sexual injury like me from beaten by his mother as a small child. And urinary
incontinence like me. Even eye issues from the stroke like you would have!!
Ian, I see this, it’s about patient D. at the State Hospital. He cast a spell. It included my father and me
as well as me and the cats. All this stuff.
I remember noting it to myself on the psych ward in Tampa in the 2000’s: “There is a witchcraft here;”
or something like that.


So, back to the solution in the present, of the problem of healing Travis and Tanners from the filthy
mess in here over months, this is funny because here at the end with the worst situation with them
that I have faced I have the one move I always doubted.
I thought today of RETROACTIVITY. And things started happening after that.
God was saving the best for last.
I have been mapping retroactive healing to Travis and Tanner, just talking to them and noticing them
across this time that is obviously still in their minds because. obviously, that IS THE PROBLEM. And I
realized that the same thing holds true for you Ian. Thats what I was trying to do for you that was
what I was fumbling towards with all that posting and emails and texts.
I remembered your messy bed.
Its like Dr. Behar’s big belly. My life of harm to me is there for a witness and a hope and a branch for
you across all those times that are recorded in my mind because I AM YOUR MOTHER. and I was
always there. It was like the Harvard Advocate. I learned a mothers lesson there. They made me feel
better at the end by saying that I kept a steady presence at the Advocate Building.
Its like I’m soaking it out of you just like I tried to soak the poisons out of you in the bathtub when I
was carrying you at the house in Fallbrook, California.
5/7/2021 Mail – Lynne Murphy – Outlook
https://outlook.live.com/mail/0/sentitems/id/AQMkADAwATM0MDAAMS1jMTU3LTA0ZTktMDACLTAwCgBGAAADmb8%2BunCV0E2HpvNIX1uPxwcA… 3/3
This is a little confused because I am EXHAUSTED.
Please know that I LOVE YOU and I am your mother.
LOVE

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