Letter to my divorced husband


Subject:
Wernersville State Hospital boyfriend Frank C.

I just figured this after all of those years why we got together as we did.
I had been dating Frank C. from Fleetwood, strictly no sex. He was a lovely man, a lot older, had spent some time at Villanova University. He was an Italian American person.
I could never figure out what happened.
He burned his fathers house down and got 20 years in jail. Right after calling me at 4 in the morning and asking me if I wanted to move in with him at his fathers house. I said no.
I loved him but I didn’t want to marry him. My skill set was too advanced for a man without a career. I was just idling, I didn’t really understand myself what I was doing at that time, I was wrapped up with myself and lost in Berks County. then I met you and left.
I have been given the impression that he passed away long before I returned here from Florida in 2012
I have said it before about that time. Its was truly very rude of me but a fact of my psychosocial world at that time that I was conducting my life as if it was practice for some unforeseeable future time.
I realize now what happened; after 2 years of dating in the Reading area I had asked him to come to dinner with me and my parents. We went to the Italian restaurant on the highway near Fleetwood. I dont know whose idea that was, probably mine.
5 minutes ago, I realized that he was probably intimately acquainted with the owners! Fleetwood is a small town!!!
I don’t think any of us said a word the whole time.
It must have been horribly embarrassing for him because my parents were looking at the both of us like we were freaks.
So, decades later I worried about coming back here because I left with you soon after he went to prison. In fact, it was the opposite. It was a good thing I got the hell out of here.
Im still a little foggy about all this but everything has been such a disaster for such a long time and I am thinking that this was a part of it all along that I wasn’t reckoning.

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