So, it is SICKENING, what I have to write about today. I have to go further back, before my child, before the lies and deception surrounding the marriage, before my child; when i was a REALLY, REALLY HORRIBLE PERSON. I drove the PA roadways for hours a day, drinking 10 large coffees, spilling coffee on … Continue reading Work in Progress
Category: Uncategorized
THIS JUST IN
OMG First of all, the cat, Sasha, i didn't explain to anybody what happened with the euthanasia because i didn't realize how important it was to get it said. Something untoward happened at the last munute on the way to the vet, an urgent care clinic at an unfamiliar location. I forgot to indicate as … Continue reading THIS JUST IN
Talking
Talked to an old friend last night. I haven't talked in years; ever. Dont know who to trust. My exhusband was one of the few NOT wordless people who was able to communicate with me. His French/German influenced Canadian with my Americanized British: he had learned as a youth in Europe how to be understood … Continue reading Talking
Ulterior Motives
Poor Sasha! I just didn't know! The shocker was that her skin was falling off! The vet tech went to comb her back and her skin was falling off with her hair in chunks. The problem with this for me was that back in November of 2016 I made a suicide attempt of taking a … Continue reading Ulterior Motives
Gone With the Wind
Elizabeth Taylor. She always reminded me of my mother. Dark hair, a little husky, statuesque. I don't think I ever told anyone that. Nobody listened to things like that in me. And, moreover, my mother was a steeplechaser in her youth in England (See: "National Velvet,") So, on a different note, my mother also reminded … Continue reading Gone With the Wind
“Saying Goodbye”
Text to my son: "I didn't even see it; how this butterfly is granma, and she came to say goodbye to us. That she came to ME, to show ME, and everybody else that I LOVED HER, and she knew it. She just couldn't acknowledge it. Like, how to stay in fighting trim on a … Continue reading “Saying Goodbye”
Letter to My Husband
"Salvation is here..." From a popular Christian song. I could never figure out why they didn't do anything when they took me out of the ambulance literally kicking and screaming back in the summer of 1986, after I lost control after stopping the Mellaril (an older antipsychotic medication) after getting out of getting out of … Continue reading Letter to My Husband
Brothers death “altruistic”
When i was seeing Sister Marie for baptismal counseling, about 2 years ago, i had a concern that caused me to ask my father to step in. It was a sexuality issue that i didn't t know how to resolve. My father said that would be "altruistic" for him to get involved. As if that … Continue reading Brothers death “altruistic”
Old book projects d/c’d
"Every Cloud," a book project that had me for so long, i have discontinued, set aside, abandoned, after this mention i will never again bring it to mind. It led to a serious suicide attrmpt and a bankruptcy. Since then, my brother effectively commited suicide. The book project kept me alive in the most visceral … Continue reading Old book projects d/c’d
Sane
i am putting this back up today because everybody is making me mad. i wrote it a week ago, and then took it down the following morning: It comes upon me to write this post exposing my father's folly in his married and other personal life after about 6 1/4 years since a suicide attempt … Continue reading Sane
