About where I've been and where I'm going. Picking up a huge puzzle piece this evening. About a summer evening in Reading, PA long, long ago. Two men on motorcycles; the Pagoda. Two sensual movies at the local theatre. A hot dark night. I lost my heart to a man there; never to return. So, … Continue reading A Letter to Society
Tag: Sexual abuse
THIS JUST IN
OMG First of all, the cat, Sasha, i didn't explain to anybody what happened with the euthanasia because i didn't realize how important it was to get it said. Something untoward happened at the last munute on the way to the vet, an urgent care clinic at an unfamiliar location. I forgot to indicate as … Continue reading THIS JUST IN
Lies and Deception. Updated 8/10/2020 4:30 pm
This post was just updated: First of all, its about the rape at the beach when i was 13. When i was living here in my 20s, they (my parents) (world's worst friends to children) said to me, obliquely, "It happened when you were 13." A few years later--i was still living here-- i mentioned … Continue reading Lies and Deception. Updated 8/10/2020 4:30 pm
Sane
i am putting this back up today because everybody is making me mad. i wrote it a week ago, and then took it down the following morning: It comes upon me to write this post exposing my father's folly in his married and other personal life after about 6 1/4 years since a suicide attempt … Continue reading Sane
Brother’s Suicide
Jeffrey Epsteins suicide is helping me make sense of my brother's. Since last November, when he did it, I have been wondering what the connection is between my frantic processing of the past, and this final act of my brother's. I had woken up that morning making a first time ever assertion in my mind … Continue reading Brother’s Suicide
36 years of psychoanalysis coming to a Close
NOT MINE. I have been the proxy for my mother's best friends psychotherapy with my first psychiatrist, a CHILD PSYCHIATRIST who saw adults for strictly medication management. She saw him for 3 decades before leaving New Jersey for a retirement community in the Boston area, where her children are. I saw the psychiatrist for about … Continue reading 36 years of psychoanalysis coming to a Close
Accountable for sexual abuse of self
Well the shit gets deep when you become accountable on account of what SOMEBODY ELSE does TO YOU. Your father expresses a sexual interest in you-- you are 17--that is your problem, regardless of the fact that it is not on account of anything you have done. With your mother it is like RAPE in … Continue reading Accountable for sexual abuse of self
Hard psych appointment
Well my book is done so I can come here with my thoughts again. I have to either edit it or jettison it but I came to the end. I have realized that my father fears my book because it asserts the sexual abuse by him in the context of all the other off- beat … Continue reading Hard psych appointment
Asshole
I have learned NEVER to use that word about any man. But there is an exception to every rule. I am embracing words from a book called "The Wounded Heart: Hope for Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse." Dan Allender says in this book that it IS good to confront your abuser, if possible, when … Continue reading Asshole
It is well with my soul
So at 56 i have finally found my way out of the bix. My sister found it at age 13. She USED ME. I renember the monent, and that i felt like id climbed behind a rovk id nevrr find the way around. My brother took my mother on wben he was 18 and hus … Continue reading It is well with my soul
